Socrates

"The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing." 

Socrates

"To find yourself, think for yourself."

Nelson Mandela

"Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world."

Jim Rohn

"Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day." 

Buddha

"The mind is everything. What you think, you become." 

Monday, 31 October 2022

Freud’s Psychosexual Stages of Development


Psychologist Sigmund Freud’s model of sexual development proposes a series of stages in which people grow and mature. The pleasure sought by your inborn instincts is focused on sexual desire and gratification, through proper stimulation of each erogenous zone.

According to Freud, every “healthy” child evolves through five different stages:

  • Here are the stages by ages:

  • Oral: Birth to 18 months
  • Anal: 18 months to 3 years
  • Phallic: 3 years to 8 years
  • Latency: 7 to 8 years to puberty
  • Genital: Puberty to adulthood

Each stage is associated with a specific part of the body, or more specifically, erogenous zone. Each zone is a source of pleasure and conflict during its respective stage. “A child’s ability to resolve that conflict determines whether or not they were able to move onto the next stage,” 

  • Age range: Birth to 1 year
  • Erogenous zone: The mouth

The oral stage is Freud’s first stage of personality development. From birth until about 18 months of age, an infant’s life centers on his mouth. The main task of this stage is to satisfy oral desire by stimulating the erogenous zone of the mouth. Infants are born with a very well-developed sense of taste, and their mouths are the most sophisticated tools they have to explore their world.

Freud’s theory says that things like excessive gum chomping, nail biting, and thumb-sucking are rooted in too little or too much oral gratification as a child.

“Overeating, overconsumption of alcohol, and smoking are also said to be rooted in poor development of this first stage,” she says.

  • Age range: 1 to 3 years old
  • Erogenous zone: anus and bladder

 Freud’s second stage of personality development is all about the erogenous focus of the anal stage.. The theory says that how a parent approaches the toilet training process influences how someone interacts with authority as they get older.

The phallic stage

  • Age range: 3 to 6 years old
  • Erogenous zone: genitals, specifically the penis

Freud comes up with his third stage: the phallic stage. The 3- to 5-year-old child is focused on the erogenous stimulation of the genital area. The need for satisfaction soon turns toward our parents, typically the parent of the opposite sex. As sexual satisfaction expands, a child finds himself within the realm of one of Freud’s most controversial and strange contributions to the study of personality, 

For young girls, this meant fixation on the fact that they don’t have a penis, an experience he called “penis envy.”

According to Freud, boys eventually decide to become their fathers — through imitation — rather than fighting them.

Freud called this “identification” and believed it was ultimately how the Oedipus complex got resolved.

Positive relational experiences:

  1. the discovery of the sexual differences and the newly found interest for this problem open un a new stage in the process of adult identification. If in the last stages of psychosexual development, the identification was only primary, based on the fusion with the model (usually, the mother), now we can move on to the structured identification. The Ego and the Superego are consolidated using the model given by the same sex parent, trying to conquer the libidinal object (the opposite sex parent).
  2. the conditions and components of a structured identification are: cognitive aspects (the perception of similarity), affective aspects (empathy towards the model), volitional (wants to resemble the model) and pragmatic aspects (imitating or adopting the behaviour of the model).
  3. the last phase of identification occurs after puberty and it’s called independent identification because the model is followed being guided by personal experiences.

Possible negative consequences

  • traumatizing experiences that block the change to structured identification (maltreatment, abuse) can cause the fixation of the complexes Oedipus or Electra which favorize the apparition of dysfunctions in the development of the sexual identity and in couple relationships.

  • Age range: 7 to 10 years old, or elementary school through preadolescence

With successful resolution of the conflicts of each previous stage, children enter into a more quiet time of psychosexual development called latency. The libido loosens its grip on the personality, and sexual impulses cease to dominate. Kids find more freedom to explore and expand on the skills they’ve gained from each subsequent stage.

Latency lasts from about six years old until puberty. Things cool down, so to speak.

Freud argued that this is when sexual energy was channeled into industrious, asexual activities like learning, hobbies, and social relationships.

He felt that this stage is when people develop healthy social and communication skills.He believed failure to move through this stage could result in lifelong immaturity, or the inability to have and maintain happy, healthy, and fulfilling sexual and non-sexual relationships as an adult.

Positive relational experiences:

  • During this stage, the superego continues to develop while the id’s energies are suppressed. Children develop social skills, values and relationships with peers and adults outside of the family.
  • The development of the ego and superego contribute to this period of calm. The stage begins around the time that children enter into school and become more concerned with peer relationships, hobbies, and other interests.
  • The latent period is a time of exploration in which the sexual energy repressed or dormant. This energy is still present, but it is sublimated into other areas such as intellectual pursuits and social interactions. This stage is important in the development of social and communication skills and self-confidence.
  • The hibernating libido gives rise to an increased interest to other activities that bring pleasure, other than sexual related. There is a marked decrease in interests regarding sexuality and these themes are viewed as taboo.

Possible negative consequences:

  • As with the other psychosexual stages, Freud believed that it was possible for children to become fixated or “stuck” in this phase. Fixation at this stage can result in immaturity and an inability to form fulfilling relationships as an adult.

  • Age range: 12 and up, or puberty until death
  • Erogenous zone: genitals

The last stage in this theory begins at puberty . According to Freud, this is when an individual begins to have strong sexual interest in the opposite sex. The self-centered pleasure-seeking child of earlier stages gives way to a more mature form of satisfaction.

A concern for the pleasure of others begins to shape the direction of psychosexual development, and the child is now open to learning how to engage in mutually satisfying love relationships.

Freud never proposed that all people reach this point of full maturity. It’s more like an ideal, something to strive for, a lifelong project.


ASSERTIVENESS AND NEGOTIATION SKILLS

What is Assertiveness?

Assertiveness is the ability to honestly express your opinions, feelings, attitudes, and rights, without undue anxiety, in a way that doesn't infringe on the rights of others.

Why Assertiveness Is Important

The ability to be assertive allows someone to make What is Assertiveness?

Assertiveness is the ability to honestly express your opinions, feelings, attitudes, and rights, without undue anxiety, in a way that doesn't infringe on the rights of others.

Why Assertiveness Is Important

1.       The ability to be assertive allows someone to make offers to other people and stand up for themselves or others in a nonaggressive way. 

2.      Individuals who are high in assertiveness don't shy away from defending their points of view or goals, or from trying to influence others to see their side. They are open to both compliments and constructive criticism. People can improve their assertiveness through practical exercises and experience.

3.     From a cognitive standpoint, assertive people experience fewer anxious thoughts, even when under stress.

4.     From a behavioral standpoint, assertive people are firm without being rude.

5.  Assertive people are able to be honest about their thoughts and feelings in a respectful way. 

6.     They actively listen to and are considerate of other people’s perspectives.

7.      Assertive people are able to maintain control over their feelings and admit when they’ve made a mistake.

 

 What are some benefits of being assertive?

  • Being assertive offers a number of benefits, ranging from less anxiety and depression to a greater sense of  better relationships. 
  • Assertiveness is often associated with higher self-esteem and confidence.

 


How to Be Assertive

1.       Assertive people tend to project confidence.

2.       They maintain eye contact, have good posture, and use body language effectively. 

3.     They are able to express their thoughts and beliefs honestly and reasonably—and they encourage other people to do the same.

4.     Being assertive means speaking up for one’s rights without disrespecting anyone else’s. 

5.     It involves managing stress, solving problems as they arise, and staying calm

6.     Assertive people are able to be honest about their thoughts and feelings in a respectful way. 

7.     They actively listen to and are considerate of other people’s perspectives.

8.      Assertive people are able to maintain control over their feelings and admit when they’ve made a mistake..

 

What are some benefits of being assertive?

Being assertive offers a number of benefits, ranging from less anxiety and depression to a greater sense of agency and better relationships. Assertiveness is often associated with higher self-esteem and confidence.

 


How to Be Assertive

1.       Assertive people tend to project confidence.

2.       They maintain eye contact, have good posture, and use body language effectively. 

3.     They are able to express their thoughts and beliefs honestly and reasonably—and they encourage other people to do the same.

4.     Being assertive means speaking up for one’s rights without disrespecting anyone else’s. 

5.     It involves managing stress, solving problems as they arise, and staying calm

 


 

 



Sunday, 30 October 2022

What Is Leadership?



Leadership means different things to different people. leadership is defined as the art of moving others to want to struggle for shared aspirations. Therefore, a leader is an individual who possesses the ability to encourage, motivate and/or influence others.

 

Leadership is not a person or a position. It is a complex moral relationship between people, based on trust, obligation, commitment, emotion, and a shared vision of the good. Leadership is the art of influencing others to their maximum performance to accomplish any task, objective or project



Mahatma Gandhi was a very empowering and Visionary leader. Mahatma Gandhi was an empowering leader no only because he empowered all Indians on a salt march to corrupt the British economic system. 
Since he was pioneer of Satyagraha, he also inspired all Indians to understand and learn resistance through non-violent civil disobedience.  Gandhi was a visionary leader. He gave Indians a new spirit, a sense of self-respect and a feeling of pride in their civilization, he is something more than a mere politician. He is a great statesman and a man of vision.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr was a successful leader of the African American civil rights movement in the United States. He was intelligent in the fact that he was able to lead African Americans in a nonviolent way to the advancement of civil rights. He was powerful and he used his power to influence the believers. Dr. King was educated receiving his Doctorate of Philosophy in Systematic Theology from Boston University. Having strong verbal ability, perceptual ability, and reasoning appears to make one a better leader (Northouse, 2016). His verbal ability was extremely strong. The “I Have a Dream” speech was delivered during the march on Washington where he called for an end to racism. Over 40 years later the powerful speech lives on. Dr. King inspired many with his speechhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dKimoybmEo


 
Leadership is the behavior of an individual when he is directing the activities of a group toward a shared goal. (Hemphill )

Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality. Warren G. Bennis

What are the types of  Leadership?

There are many styles of leadership. The following is a list of the most common styles: 

· Autocratic: Top-down approach that usually includes the leader making most of the decisions alone.

· Participatory: Leader includes followers in decision making and other processes. 

· Delegatory: Leader often shares responsibilities with followers. 

· Charismatic: Leader is well-liked by followers and has much influence in the organization. 

· Democratic: A leader uses the opinion of the majority of the group when making decisions and when delegating responsibility. 

 

SEVEN  LEADERSHIP PRINCIPLES TO LEARN FROM AN EAGLE



1.Eagles fly Alone and at High Altitudes.

They don't fly with sparrows, ravens, and other small birds. That means they 

Stay away from narrow-minded people, those that bring you down. Eagle flies with Eagles. Keep good company.

 

2.Eagles have an Accurate Vision. 

They have the ability to focus on something as far as 5km away. No matter the obstacles, the eagle will not move his focus from the prey until he grabs it.

 


A good leader should have a vision and remain focused no matter what the obstacles and you will succeed.

 

 3.Eagles do not Eat Dead things. They Feed only on Fresh Prey. That reflect 

Eagles do not rely on their past success, keep looking for new frontiers to conquer. 

4. Eagles Love the Storm.

When clouds gather, the eagle gets excited, the eagle uses the storms wind to lift itself higher. When a good  leader Face his challenges, it   make him emerge stronger and better than he were. A good leader can use the storms of life to rise to greater heights.  Achievers are not afraid of challenges or to rise to greater heights.  rather they relish them and use them profitably.

 


5. Eagles Prepare for Training;

They remove the feathers and soft grass in the nest so that the young ones get uncomfortable and  compel in preparation for flying and eventually flies/ when it becomes unbearable to stay in the nest. A good leader must Leave his Comfort Zone, there is No Growth there.

 

6. When the Eagle Grows Old,

His feathers become weak and cannot take him as fast and as high.  So, he retires to a place far away in the mountains. While there, he plucks out the weak feathers on his body and breaks its beaks and claws against the rocks until he is completely bare. Even though  It  is a very bloody and painful process. Then he stays in this hiding place until he has grown new feathers, new beaks and claws and then he comes out flying higher than before. A good leader keen on occasionally need to shed off old habit no matter how difficult, things that burden us or add no value to our lives should be let go of.

7.Eagles are fearless and never surrender to the size or strength of its prey.  

No matter what the size of your problem—don’t give up.   Instead, face it.  Successful people are fearless!  They face problems head on.  The fear of failure and the opinion of others are two of the greatest fears a leader must overcome.  Afraid of failing is not the goal; it is the process of being successful.


Giving and receiving constructive criticism


The word communication came from the Latin word communicare which means “to share.” When you communicate, you try to “connect” with another person. A communication process becomes effective when the ideas expressed are understood. This way, communication acts like a bridge to connect two or more people, enabling them to affect each other through the process.  It involves a sharing of ideas.

 Criticisms/ Feedback

Criticisms are statements of evaluation. A criticism is basically a form of feedback. It is a reaction to a statement or a message. There are two types of criticisms. These are destructive and constructive criticisms.

Definitions of Feedback.

Feedback is not disapproval, criticism or a personal attack, when feedback is constructive and consistent and is given by someone in an informed position it is very useful. 

Giving Constructive Feedback

For feedback to be most useful, it must be presented in such a way that the receiver does not feel threatened or attacked by the information. Constructive criticism can be a helpful tool when used with the intent of helping or improving a situation in the workplace.  We need to recognize that we can be a part of the problem if we are not addressing the problems or are not addressing them effectively.

Listed below are some guidelines for giving constructive feedback:

    1. Direct feedback towards  to what the person did rather than who they are.
    2.  Be supportive, not authoritarian or dogmatic .
    3.  Be fair and reasonable, supporting judgements with evidence from observations. 
    4. Take the needs, value and usefulness of the receiver into account first. 
    5. Make use of “I” Statements to let the receiver know how you perceive, experience or feel about the behavior. Avoid “we” or “most people” statements. 
        1. By saying, “I get upset when you…,” you help promote a productive dialogue. No one can dispute that that’s how you feel! 
        2. Whereas saying “You make me upset” is more likely to lead to an argument and less communication.
    6.  Feedback that relates to what, how, when, and where is based on observable events; 
    7. Make feedback descriptive rather than evaluative and judgmental. 
    8. Make feedback specific rather than general and abstract. 
    9. Share information rather than give advice. 
    10. Be sensitive to timing and selection. 
    11.  Don’t compare the person’s behaviour with that of others. 
    12.  Restrict feedback to what can be absorbed and understood at one time.
    13. Do not apologise for your criticism when it is made in good faith and supported by evidence. 

Check whether the receiver understood your feedback. One way of doing this is to ask the receiver to rephrase the feedback to see if it corresponds to what the sender had in mind.

When you are Giving and Receiving Feedback  to someone else you should be aware of the ten points in the box below

 RECEIVING  CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM

Giving effective feedback is an art and a skill.  Feedback is a way to let people know how effective they are in what they are trying to accomplish.  It provides a way for people to learn how they affect the world around them, and it helps us to become more effective



Although receiving fair and valid feedback that is presented in a constructive manner can be very instructive and helpful. Most of us find critical feedback difficult to receive.  

1.  Accept and Manage Your Emotions : Most people tend to react to constructive feedback, especially if it is feedback they don’t particularly like, with a little surprise or shock, quickly followed by anger and then rejection or denial. 

2.  Reflect on the Feedback : Take time to analyze the feedback and determine what you think it means for you

3.  Talk With the Feedback Giver(s) Talking with the person(s) who gave you feedback is the most important part of the process. 

4.  Listen for understanding and information, without thinking about your response. Avoid countering, judging or evaluating what is being said. “Seek first to understand, then to be understood” (Stephen R. Covey)

5.  Admit ignorance or confusion when you do not understand what is being said or are somewhat confused. Nothing is gained if you don’t understand what is being said and do nothing about it. 

6.  Avoid getting defensive. If others  criticize you or your actions, calmly acknowledge the possibility that there may be some truth in the criticism or their point of view. You  have to receive any criticism without becoming anxious or defensive. .