ASSERTIVENESS AND NEGOTIATION SKILLS

What is Assertiveness?

Assertiveness is the ability to honestly express your opinions, feelings, attitudes, and rights, without undue anxiety, in a way that doesn't infringe on the rights of others.

Why Assertiveness Is Important

The ability to be assertive allows someone to make What is Assertiveness?

Assertiveness is the ability to honestly express your opinions, feelings, attitudes, and rights, without undue anxiety, in a way that doesn't infringe on the rights of others.

Why Assertiveness Is Important

1.       The ability to be assertive allows someone to make offers to other people and stand up for themselves or others in a nonaggressive way. 

2.      Individuals who are high in assertiveness don't shy away from defending their points of view or goals, or from trying to influence others to see their side. They are open to both compliments and constructive criticism. People can improve their assertiveness through practical exercises and experience.

3.     From a cognitive standpoint, assertive people experience fewer anxious thoughts, even when under stress.

4.     From a behavioral standpoint, assertive people are firm without being rude.

5.  Assertive people are able to be honest about their thoughts and feelings in a respectful way. 

6.     They actively listen to and are considerate of other people’s perspectives.

7.      Assertive people are able to maintain control over their feelings and admit when they’ve made a mistake.

 

 What are some benefits of being assertive?

• Being assertive offers a number of benefits, ranging from less anxiety and depression to a greater sense of  better relationships. 
• Assertiveness is often associated with higher self-esteem and confidence.

 

How to Be Assertive

1.       Assertive people tend to project confidence.

2.       They maintain eye contact, have good posture, and use body language effectively. 

3.     They are able to express their thoughts and beliefs honestly and reasonably—and they encourage other people to do the same.

4.     Being assertive means speaking up for one’s rights without disrespecting anyone else’s. 

5.     It involves managing stress, solving problems as they arise, and staying calm

6.     Assertive people are able to be honest about their thoughts and feelings in a respectful way. 

7.     They actively listen to and are considerate of other people’s perspectives.

8.      Assertive people are able to maintain control over their feelings and admit when they’ve made a mistake..

 

What are some benefits of being assertive?

Being assertive offers a number of benefits, ranging from less anxiety and depression to a greater sense of agency and better relationships. Assertiveness is often associated with higher self-esteem and confidence.

 

How to Be Assertive

1.       Assertive people tend to project confidence.

2.       They maintain eye contact, have good posture, and use body language effectively. 

3.     They are able to express their thoughts and beliefs honestly and reasonably—and they encourage other people to do the same.

4.     Being assertive means speaking up for one’s rights without disrespecting anyone else’s. 

5.     It involves managing stress, solving problems as they arise, and staying calm

 

 

 

Read More

What Is Leadership?

Leadership means different things to different people. leadership is defined as the art of moving others to want to struggle for shared aspirations. Therefore, a leader is an individual who possesses the ability to encourage, motivate and/or influence others.

 

Leadership is not a person or a position. It is a complex moral relationship between people, based on trust, obligation, commitment, emotion, and a shared vision of the good. Leadership is the art of influencing others to their maximum performance to accomplish any task, objective or project

Mahatma Gandhi was a very empowering and Visionary leader. Mahatma Gandhi was an empowering leader no only because he empowered all Indians on a salt march to corrupt the British economic system. Since he was pioneer of Satyagraha, he also inspired all Indians to understand and learn resistance through non-violent civil disobedience.  Gandhi was a visionary leader. He gave Indians a new spirit, a sense of self-respect and a feeling of pride in their civilization, he is something more than a mere politician. He is a great statesman and a man of vision.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr was a successful leader of the African American civil rights movement in the United States. He was intelligent in the fact that he was able to lead African Americans in a nonviolent way to the advancement of civil rights. He was powerful and he used his power to influence the believers. Dr. King was educated receiving his Doctorate of Philosophy in Systematic Theology from Boston University. Having strong verbal ability, perceptual ability, and reasoning appears to make one a better leader (Northouse, 2016). His verbal ability was extremely strong. The “I Have a Dream” speech was delivered during the march on Washington where he called for an end to racism. Over 40 years later the powerful speech lives on. Dr. King inspired many with his speechhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dKimoybmEo

 Leadership is the behavior of an individual when he is directing the activities of a group toward a shared goal. (Hemphill )

Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality. Warren G. Bennis

​

What are the types of  Leadership?

There are many styles of leadership. The following is a list of the most common styles: 

· Autocratic: Top-down approach that usually includes the leader making most of the decisions alone.

· Participatory: Leader includes followers in decision making and other processes. 

· Delegatory: Leader often shares responsibilities with followers. 

· Charismatic: Leader is well-liked by followers and has much influence in the organization. 

· Democratic: A leader uses the opinion of the majority of the group when making decisions and when delegating responsibility. 

 

SEVEN  LEADERSHIP PRINCIPLES TO LEARN FROM AN EAGLE

1.Eagles fly Alone and at High Altitudes.

They don't fly with sparrows, ravens, and other small birds. That means they 

Stay away from narrow-minded people, those that bring you down. Eagle flies with Eagles. Keep good company.

 

2.Eagles have an Accurate Vision. 

They have the ability to focus on something as far as 5km away. No matter the obstacles, the eagle will not move his focus from the prey until he grabs it.

 

A good leader should have a vision and remain focused no matter what the obstacles and you will succeed.

 

 3.Eagles do not Eat Dead things. They Feed only on Fresh Prey. That reflect 

Eagles do not rely on their past success, keep looking for new frontiers to conquer. 

4. Eagles Love the Storm.

When clouds gather, the eagle gets excited, the eagle uses the storms wind to lift itself higher. When a good  leader Face his challenges, it   make him emerge stronger and better than he were. A good leader can use the storms of life to rise to greater heights.  Achievers are not afraid of challenges or to rise to greater heights.  rather they relish them and use them profitably.

 

5. Eagles Prepare for Training;

They remove the feathers and soft grass in the nest so that the young ones get uncomfortable and  compel in preparation for flying and eventually flies/ when it becomes unbearable to stay in the nest. A good leader must Leave his Comfort Zone, there is No Growth there.

 

6. When the Eagle Grows Old,

His feathers become weak and cannot take him as fast and as high.  So, he retires to a place far away in the mountains. While there, he plucks out the weak feathers on his body and breaks its beaks and claws against the rocks until he is completely bare. Even though  It  is a very bloody and painful process. Then he stays in this hiding place until he has grown new feathers, new beaks and claws and then he comes out flying higher than before. A good leader keen on occasionally need to shed off old habit no matter how difficult, things that burden us or add no value to our lives should be let go of.

7.Eagles are fearless and never surrender to the size or strength of its prey.  

No matter what the size of your problem—don’t give up.   Instead, face it.  Successful people are fearless!  They face problems head on.  The fear of failure and the opinion of others are two of the greatest fears a leader must overcome.  Afraid of failing is not the goal; it is the process of being successful.

Read More

Giving and receiving constructive criticism

The word communication came from the Latin word communicare which means “to share.” When you communicate, you try to “connect” with another person. A communication process becomes effective when the ideas expressed are understood. This way, communication acts like a bridge to connect two or more people, enabling them to affect each other through the process.  It involves a sharing of ideas.

 Criticisms/ Feedback

Criticisms are statements of evaluation. A criticism is basically a form of feedback. It is a reaction to a statement or a message. There are two types of criticisms. These are destructive and constructive criticisms.

Definitions of Feedback.

Feedback is not disapproval, criticism or a personal attack, when feedback is constructive and consistent and is given by someone in an informed position it is very useful. 

Giving Constructive Feedback

For feedback to be most useful, it must be presented in such a way that the receiver does not feel threatened or attacked by the information. Constructive criticism can be a helpful tool when used with the intent of helping or improving a situation in the workplace.  We need to recognize that we can be a part of the problem if we are not addressing the problems or are not addressing them effectively.

Listed below are some guidelines for giving constructive feedback:

1. Direct feedback towards  to what the person did rather than who they are.
2.  Be supportive, not authoritarian or dogmatic .
3.  Be fair and reasonable, supporting judgements with evidence from observations. 
4. Take the needs, value and usefulness of the receiver into account first. 
5. Make use of “I” Statements to let the receiver know how you perceive, experience or feel about the behavior. Avoid “we” or “most people” statements. 
1. By saying, “I get upset when you…,” you help promote a productive dialogue. No one can dispute that that’s how you feel! 
2. Whereas saying “You make me upset” is more likely to lead to an argument and less communication.
6.  Feedback that relates to what, how, when, and where is based on observable events; 
7. Make feedback descriptive rather than evaluative and judgmental. 
8. Make feedback specific rather than general and abstract. 
9. Share information rather than give advice. 
10. Be sensitive to timing and selection. 
11.  Don’t compare the person’s behaviour with that of others. 
12.  Restrict feedback to what can be absorbed and understood at one time.
13. Do not apologise for your criticism when it is made in good faith and supported by evidence. 

Check whether the receiver understood your feedback. One way of doing this is to ask the receiver to rephrase the feedback to see if it corresponds to what the sender had in mind.

When you are Giving and Receiving Feedback  to someone else you should be aware of the ten points in the box below

 RECEIVING  CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM

Giving effective feedback is an art and a skill.  Feedback is a way to let people know how effective they are in what they are trying to accomplish.  It provides a way for people to learn how they affect the world around them, and it helps us to become more effective

Although receiving fair and valid feedback that is presented in a constructive manner can be very instructive and helpful. Most of us find critical feedback difficult to receive.  

1.  Accept and Manage Your Emotions : Most people tend to react to constructive feedback, especially if it is feedback they don’t particularly like, with a little surprise or shock, quickly followed by anger and then rejection or denial. 

2.  Reflect on the Feedback : Take time to analyze the feedback and determine what you think it means for you

3.  Talk With the Feedback Giver(s) Talking with the person(s) who gave you feedback is the most important part of the process. 

4.  Listen for understanding and information, without thinking about your response. Avoid countering, judging or evaluating what is being said. “Seek first to understand, then to be understood” (Stephen R. Covey)

5.  Admit ignorance or confusion when you do not understand what is being said or are somewhat confused. Nothing is gained if you don’t understand what is being said and do nothing about it. 

6.  Avoid getting defensive. If others  criticize you or your actions, calmly acknowledge the possibility that there may be some truth in the criticism or their point of view. You  have to receive any criticism without becoming anxious or defensive. .

 

Read More

Developing Rapport

 

What Is Rapport?

Rapport is a good sense of understanding and trust. Rapport is a connection or relationship with someone else. It can be considered as a state of harmonious understanding with another individual or group. Building rapport is the process of developing that connection with someone else. Rapport develops out of meaningful conversations and a willingness to embrace different points of view.

Why Does Rapport Matter?

Rapport is important because it allows us to connect and build relationships with others. It promotes connection with others on a personal level, and it helps establish comfortable living and working environments. Great rapport facilitates the development of emotional intelligence and interpersonal skills.

Rapport is important in both our professional and personal lives.

Employers are more likely to employ somebody who they believe will get on well with their current staff.   This bond is important because we all have a tendency to want to be with ‘people like us’. It is much easier to build rapport with someone who is very like you, or who shares a lot of your interests. Rapport makes both building a relationship, and communicating more generally, much easier.

How to Build Rapport:

 Rapport requires a number of social skills that are necessary to effectively communicate with others. Techniques for building rapport include:

1.      Remember people’s names. Make it a point to remember peoples’ names and faces, as this shows attentiveness and an interest in who they are. Remembering people builds trust, paving the way for open dialogue and good communication.

2.     Find common ground. Relating to another person by identifying a shared experience, trait, or opinion is a good way to find common ground. This type of empathy is an important tool for connecting with another individual, as it demonstrates an understanding of their feelings and past experiences.

3.     Actively listen. Active listening means giving your full attention to someone who is speaking. It’s an important communication skill, as it encourages openness and honesty. Active listening helps foster a conversational atmosphere and leads to effective communication. If someone feels like you are hearing them, they will likely listen to you in return, which can establish a good relationship and build great rapport.

4.     Ask questions. When you ask follow-up questions during a conversation, you demonstrate interest in the speaker’s point of view. This reveals that you're listening closely and want to know more. Asking questions can eliminate uncomfortable small talk and help you get into more meaningful conversations.

5.     Mind your body language. Nonverbal communication is central to building rapport. Pay attention to your nonverbal cues and mannerisms—body posture, eye contact, facial expressions. When someone is speaking to you, face them, make comfortable eye contact, and mirror their expressions as they speak. This shows that you are tuned in to their feelings. Be wary of body language that signals disinterest; looking at your phone or the clock can indicate that you have no authentic interest in the person who is speaking to you, which can be detrimental to both personal and working relationships.

6.     Reserve judgment. Good rapport develops when someone understands that they can share their feelings and ideas without fear of judgment. When your friends, family, or coworkers are speaking, withhold your criticism and only share advice or information if they request it. When you do offer critique, emphasize positivity and facilitate openness.

Read More